


Tutoring

by Rahenna



Series: Ace of Hearts [11]
Category: Gakuen Heaven 2 ~Double Scramble~
Genre: M/M, Secret Relationship, Teacher-Student Relationship, Tutoring
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-03
Updated: 2016-02-03
Packaged: 2018-05-18 01:09:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,996
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5892286
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rahenna/pseuds/Rahenna
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Yuki's been looking forward to tutoring with Professor Sakaki all week, but the professor's odd behavior has filled him with all sorts of doubts and worries.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Tutoring

**Author's Note:**

> YES, I WRITE EVERYTHING OUT OF ORDER.  
> YES, I'M SORRY.  
> NO, I CAN'T STOP DOING IT :(
> 
> Contains spoilers for Gakuen Heaven 2. If you intend to play the game yourself, reading this may ruin your fun a bit. :)
> 
> Originally posted here:  
> [Adults Always Lie](http://heaven.neo-romance.net/lies/)
> 
> If you want to know more about the Gakuen Heaven series, please visit my fansite for game translations and summaries:  
> [welcome to Heaven](http://heaven.neo-romance.net/)

**Wednesday, July 5, 2017**

Tomo jerked awake with a snort when the bell rang, eyes popping open instantly. I covered my mouth to muffle my giggle of amusement; no matter how many times I saw it, Tomo's transition between completely out to fully awake was always funny. Maybe it was because I already knew his explanation for the weird behavior.

_"Why do you wake up so fast when the bell rings?"_

_"I want to hurry and get to the next class with plenty of time to get comfortable before the teacher starts being annoying, of course."_

_"Then why do you even do it at the end of the day?"_

_"Cuz I'm trying to hurry back to my room before any track club members corner me."_

And so Tomo was shoving his books and supplies back into his bag at warp speed while I sat there watching him, taking time to stack everything neatly and make sure my favorite pen was tucked safely into my pen case. It was Wednesday, and Wednesday meant tutoring with Professor Sakaki. At the beginning of the week, the thought had made my heart race in anticipation of our special time together, but today I felt a heavy sense of doubt. 

The professor had been avoiding me all week. At first I'd thought it was a mistake or that I was being too aware of his presence, but for three days in a row, he'd avoided making eye contact throughout homeroom, not even glancing in my direction as he called my name during roll call. I'd even tried being noisier than usual, laughing too loud at Tomo's sleepy antics or Yagami's crude jokes, but he'd only singled out Tomo and Yagami for being disruptive. It was like I didn't exist.

_It's being careful, right? We have to be careful..._

I smiled weakly at Tomo, vaguely hoping he would notice that I wasn't really happy, but he was so caught up in trying to escape the classroom that he didn't even glance at me. Another important person ignoring me. My shoulders slumped. Why had he run away from me on Monday? All I'd wanted to do was share my happiness with him.

Maybe it was good that I hadn't, I thought, folding my arms on the desk and laying my head on top of them. Maybe I wasn't actually happy at all.

No, no, that wasn't right! I... well, I felt special. Like I knew something that was still a mystery to some of my friends, or that I'd become more of an adult. I'd gained access to a secret adult club earlier than most people, and honestly, it felt awesome.

"Hey, Yuki?" Tomo poked my shoulder.

"Hmm?" I picked up my head, half-smiling at him.

"You're not leaving? Still going to tutoring every Wednesday, then student council afterward?" Tomo paused for a second, and I thought he was going to ask me to come hang out, but after a few moments his expression tightened and he didn't say anything else.

 _He's still mad at me for some reason._ I sighed. "Yeah, I have tutoring, then student council."

"Hmm, that's surprising," he dug a lollipop out of his pocket. "I thought Professor Sakaki was kind of pissed at you for some reason. He's been acting kinda weird."

My heart sank. Even Tomo had noticed. It wasn't surprising since the professor was helping him out with the director's work behind the scenes, and Tomo was a lot more observant than he seemed at first glance. But for something to be so obvious that he would actually comment on it... well, that was a bit unusual. Was he worried, or maybe suspicious?

My stomach was tied up in knots as I replied, "N, no, we're still tutoring like normal..."

He popped the lollipop into his mouth with a shrug, words a bit muffled as he spoke around the piece of candy, "Well, I'll see you at dinner then. I gotta go before the track guys find me."

"Yeah, bye Tomo!" I forced a smile, then waved him off with one hand. The classroom was almost empty at that point, with everyone else rushing off to club activities or to the library to prepare for finals. Or maybe to take a trip off the school island in an attempt to forget that finals were coming up very soon. 

It wasn't long before I was left alone in the classroom. I put away my books and dug my math workbook out of my bag, setting it in the center of my desk. Then I got out my lucky pencil, the one with three colorful donuts on the clip, and a regular white eraser. My eyes drifted to the clock; only five minutes had passed since the end of class, but I couldn't help the heavy feeling in my stomach. The professor was always quick to show up for our tutoring sessions, though expecting him to make his way from the third floor down to the first in only a few minutes was a bit unreasonable.

 _Just be patient,_ I told myself, opening up the workbook to find where we'd left off last week. Back before he'd told me I was special. I bit my lip, trying not to think about that, but when I arrived at the proper page, my chest tightened. The paper was covered with notes written in his sharp, precise handwriting, the consistent forms of the characters somehow remniscent of his speech. I ran my finger over a line of text - _take care when substituting these variables_ \- feeling the impressions they made on the paper, playing the words over in my mind.

It was almost like he was beside me, whispering them in my ear. My face got hot.

Time ticked by. It wasn't like the professor to be late, but I knew he was also getting a lot of requests for extra help because finals were coming up, so he was probably just delayed. I pulled out my phone, but there were no messages. Well, he'd said he wouldn't message me unless it was an emergency, but still... I was starting to worry.

_I'm sure he wouldn't forget about me..._

A moment later, the classroom door slid open, and I jumped, instinctively turning toward the sound. For an instant, I saw the professor standing there, his tall figure framed by the door, an armful of books clutched to his chest, and I swore my heart stopped. And then he stepped into the room, setting time into motion again as the door shut softly behind him.

I stared as he approached, unable to say or do anything more than watch him move, long white coat fluttering with each step. He took the seat directly across from me as usual, setting aside everything except for his own copy of the regular class workbook and a red pen. "Sorry to keep you waiting, Asahina, I needed a little break after that last class."

I shook my head, brightening up a little. "Oh, I wasn't waiting long! I don't mind!"

From the distinctive scent surrounding him, it was clear that his break had been a trip up to the roof to smoke, but even that couldn't dampen my excitement. The professor was finally here, and it was just the two of us. No more pretending, no more hiding.

He smiled in response, but he wasn't looking at me, or rather, he wasn't meeting my eyes. What was going on? "That's good, I didn't want you to think I'd cancelled without notice."

"I wouldn't think that," I mumbled. And it was true, I wouldn't think that at all. Instead there were other thoughts swirling in my mind, a confused jumble of questions and worries. 

_No, relax,_ I told myself, _he just got here, let's see how it goes._

"Good, you already have your workbook open to the proper place." The professor opened his copy to the same page. "Did you want to practice variable substitution again? Here," he pointed to my book, "where you change an expression to a simple variable to make it easier to solve."

"Um, I think I'm fine with that..." I tried to catch his eye, but it was impossible.

"You don't sound too confident, why not try one more to be sure?" His voice was the same as always, but somehow it sounded wrong to my ears. Flat, maybe. Why did he seem so distant? It was like things had gone back to how they had been before - not just before the weekend, but before the resolution of the Bell One, when he'd been holding himself apart from everyone.

But it wasn't everyone. He'd seemed lively enough during homeroom, less cold than usual, and it was enough of a change that others had begun to whisper about it. I was the only one who was being treated like an outsider. It hurt. And worse than that, it made me angry.

I closed my workbook with a snap. That finally got the professor's attention. "You don't want tutoring today, Asahina?"

He really didn't get it. That annoyed me more than anything. "This isn't right!"

The professor's eyes went wide, surprised by my sudden outburst. I knew I shouldn't yell at him, but I'd been holding back my feelings for days, looking for signs that I was mistaken and that things were normal. It wasn't like me to hold back my feelings, and with just that tiny spark of anger, it became impossible to stopper them up any longer. 

"But this isn't right at all! You said we should act normal, but you're not acting normal at all! You won't even look at me!" Words spilled from my mouth without my input or permission, all the fears of the past few days crystallized into sound. "I was being annoying in homeroom on purpose, but you ignored me and yelled at Yagami instead! And, and..."

I paused long enough to take another shaky breath, then continued, "And people are starting to notice! Even Tomo was asking if you were mad at me for some reason, and I couldn't give him any sort of answer at all. What's wrong? It's like... like I don't exist, or something..."

My eyes were wet, vision blurring, and I reached up to scrub the tears from one eye with the back of one hand, angry with myself for the stupid reaction. Always with the tears! The bitterness flooded my voice as I continued, afraid to give the professor time to respond, "I was trying to get your attention but you always looked away. It's not normal... it's not fair..."

I tried not to blink, but even though I stared, I couldn't keep the tear at the edge of my eye from swelling and overflowing, a shameful stain on my reddened cheek. I rubbed that one away too, smearing my face with moisture. Embarrassing. Even more pathetic, I couldn't stop myself from half-sniffling, half-hiccuping, "You said I was special. I thought I was special!"

My hands were shaking. My voice was trembling. And the professor was staring at me, but instead of looking shocked, his expression had softened into something gentler. I covered my face with my hands, too ashamed to meet his eyes.

_You're so pathetic. You promised to be strong and look at you now. Yuki, you idiot!_

The seat across from me squeaked as the professor stood up, and my heart froze for a moment as _he's leaving_ flashed across my mind. But when I peeked between my fingers, his motion was toward the windows, not the door, and it only took a few seconds for him to tug the thin curtains shut, darkening the room a little. That done, he came around the side of the desk to sit in Tomo's usual seat, facing me. I lowered my hands a little, summoning just enough courage to glance up for a moment. Even with tear-blurred vision, I could see that his expression was almost pained.

"Professor...?"

Warm arms encircled me, pulling me close to his broad chest. His cheek rubbed against my hair, and he mumbled, so faintly that I could hardly hear him, "Asahina... I'm so sorry..."

All the strength left my body, and I collapsed against him with a shaky sigh, grateful that I could hide my sniffles against his chest. Cool, steady fingers brushed my heated cheek, sweeping away the tears that were still leaking from between my lashes. That silent acknowledgement of my feelings erased the feelings of awkwardness and shame; instead, I felt secure. It was okay to be weak. 

I shivered with an unsteady breath as his fingers touched my earlobe, then slipped behind to trace the back of my ear. My face warmed again, skin tingling with the soft pleasure of being touched and the comfort of a familiar combination of scents. First, the bitter tang of cigarette smoke that competed with a sweet note of cologne at his collar, but there was also the warmth of natural oil. His personal scent, one that had burned itself into my memory over the weekend as I snuggled into his arms, pressing my nose to his warm skin and the softness of his hair.

It was good. It was _right._ I drew in another breath, deeper and steadier, and let it out in a quiet sigh.

No, not completely quiet. The end of that breath escaped as a quiet grunt of, well... want. The professor released me instantly, straightening up in his seat as if I'd burned him.

"Asahina, you can't do that," he muttered, a note of strain in his voice.

I wanted to ask what he meant, but I knew. That tiny sigh of need had startled me too. I pressed one hand to my face, fingertips rubbing over the place he'd touched me, but my own fingers on my ear just felt heavy and dull. "S, sorry, I just..."

"I know," he said, not dismissively, but gently, with real understanding. I looked up again, blush darkening as I saw the slight narrowing of his eyes that matched with his faint smile. He was back. This was the professor I remembered, the one who had watched me with a warm, weighty gaze, who hadn't hesitated to draw me into his arms, and who had called me back to his apartment after a teary, reluctant goodbye.

The one who loved me.

He sighed, lowering his eyes. "I'm sorry for my behavior this week, Asahina. I just... trying to act naturally was harder than I expected." He shook his head with a little snort of disappointment, maybe. "Honestly, I was terrified to come to class on Monday. I had no idea how I'd react to seeing you again. Just thinking about you was enough to get me all wound up. I was sure someone would notice that I couldn't stop staring at you, or that I was paying too much attention to everything you did. So I ignored you instead."

I stared, unable to comprehend his words. The professor... had been worried about revealing our secret by accident? And through a lack of self-control? _But... you're always so calm and in control of everything. Even when you told me the story about your friends, you didn't get upset at all._

"I wanted to look at you," he continued, oblivious to my reaction. "But more than that, I want to keep you safe, Asahina. I never thought it would be so hard."

"Professor..." I didn't know what else to say. An adult confused by his own feelings? It was something I'd never imagined. Especially the professor. _I don't really know you,_ I realized, but that feeling wasn't one of despair. Instead, it was like a challenge. I could learn more. I could understand him better. One weekend wasn't enough to uncover even the smallest portion of a person's true personality; I'd seen it with my friends, both at Bell Liberty and at my regular school before. Why would the professor be any different?

_Maybe it's wrong to think that adults have everything all figured out. Maybe it's the opposite, because they've lived through more, and have more things to worry about..._

Wasn't that why the professor was stuck here now? His worry over his friends, his dream to create the perfect school, the struggle between loyalty to family and dedication to what was right? Just thinking about all of it made my head spin, but it also made my heart ache. If my perfect person was revealed to be imperfect, that only made me want him more.

 _Let me be the one to protect you,_ I thought again, echoes of the weekend. I reached out, tentatively touching his hand, and he looked up, expression intense.

"Asahina." He reached for me, hand cupping my chin as his thumb brushed at my lower lip. My cheeks burned, and all I could do was stare up at him in expectation, eyelids growing heavy. A moment later, his hand pulled away, leaving an echo of warmth on my skin, and he laughed quietly. "You're so honest, Asahina. Just one little touch and you're practically begging for a kiss. Though," his voice dropped lower, "I must confess to wanting the same thing."

"Then, please..."

The professor straightened up, drawing in a deep breath and releasing it slowly. Calming himself, I realized. Was he really that conflicted? Then it wasn't just me one-sidedly thinking of him, worrying, wishing we could go back to the excitement and intimacy of the weekend. He still wanted me. Just the thought made my cheeks grow warm and my body feel light.

"Let's study first," he said, his tone making it clear that he wouldn't accept any protest.

"Yeah, okay!"

"Asahina, don't grin like a kid who's begged his way into getting what he wants," he muttered, but he was smiling as he got up and went back to his original spot opposite my seat.

~ end ~


End file.
